Toxic seems to be loosely used these days in many contexts. You may find some people plain irritating, loud, constantly seeking attention, especially the one’s who constantly beat their chests on Facebook every morning. They ensure, their pain, their angst has to be felt by everyone. They like to generally spread misery and enjoy the attention they are able to generate out of it. These people are mildly toxic, not a full blown one. Toxic nonetheless. They’re just generally unhappy people, frustrated with their own life conditions and spewing venom/ bitterness on a public platforms. It’s best to “mute” such people or what we would call a “limited/restricted profile.”
Be it your parents, your children, your closest friends, no one – no matter who they are or what position they hold in your life – has the right to infect your environment with negativity, make you feel lesser about yourself, make you question your self worth or try to force you to live the life they think is best for you.
You have the right to remove these toxic relationships and people from every area of your life. Yes. Despite what you’ve been told or raised to believe, you absolutely do have that right.
Of course, tolerance for toxicity is relative to each person — you have to decide when someone requires distance and when they need to be cut out of your life. Those lines vary from person to person. What we’re talking about here is true toxicity — the kind that infects, metastasizes, and takes over your life.
Here are a few classic signs of toxic people.
- This toxic person always sees the downside to other people and situations. Often, there is an attitude that others are “out to get them” – which is used as an excuse to explain their inability to move ahead or form lasting relationships. They possess zero empathy or forgiveness, seeing small mistakes as personal attacks on them and obsessing over petty disagreements.
- You may see a pattern of “one-upping” your problems. If you have someone at work you’re having a problem with – the co-worker they deal with is much worse. If you don’t feel well – they are in agony. These people are particularly contagious and should be avoided at all costs.
- Toxic people try to control you. Strange as it might sound, people who aren’t in control of their own lives tend to want to control yours. The toxic look for ways to control others, either through overt methods or subtle manipulation.
- Toxic people disregard your boundaries. If you’re always telling someone to stop behaving a certain way and they only continue, that person is probably toxic. Respecting the boundaries of others comes naturally to well adjusted adults. The toxic person thrives on violating them.
- Toxic people are always “right.” They’re going to find ways to be right even when they’re not. They rarely (if ever) admit when they’ve messed up, miscalculated or misspoken.
- Toxic people love to be victims. The toxic revel in being a victim of the world. They seek to find ways to feel oppressed, put down and marginalized in ways they clearly are not. This might take the form of excuses, rationalizations, or out-and-out blaming.
- Toxic people don’t take responsibility. Part of the victim mentality comes from a desire to avoid responsibility. When the world is perpetually against them, their choices and actions can’t possibly be responsible for the quality of their life — it’s “just the way things are.”
Always remember to surround yourself with people who uplift you and are good to you and for you and visit places that make you happy. Get involved with new people or engage in new situations. Focus yourself in new directions away from the toxic person you’re avoiding. Avoiding people who need to be removed from your life might be difficult at first, but eventually they will get the hint. Many relationships in our lives can end this way naturally after they’ve run their course so it can be done.