Tag Archives: Lovers

3 Ways To Untangle Your Life

Have Faith In The Process:

We all go through painful situations in life that can make us feel stuck. The situation may feel like an unending tunnel without any light at the end. Times such as these you need to hold on to the faith of it being a process of sifting before clarity emerges. Not accepting what’s happening and feeling a sense of futility will not make it go away. Remember to love yourself during this process, accept and embrace for what’s happening. Self hatred and guilt ridden thoughts have to be kept at bay consciously, by reminding yourself, you did what you could in the situation. (provided you have)

Know that it’s temporary:

Unfortunately, happiness tends to make time fly, while sadness and challenging times seem to drag. While going through tough times, resist the urge to be drawn in others drama or negativity. If your relationship is difficult, resist the urge to engage in petty discussions and focus on how you are feeling. Only being true to your emotions can give you clarity on where to move ahead in your relationship.

Set a goal:

Whether it is to write a book, change your job or get fit – identify it and then stick to it like your life depends on it. Setting goals can be a constructive practice. There is enough and more research done on the effects on the positives of goal setting to maintain a emotional happier and healthier life. Being happy takes requires discipline and hard work, and goal setting is one part of the equation. Whether the goal is short-term, you need to define specific and actionable steps that you can take in order to reach your goals.

Try and ensure your goals are difficult enough to motivate you and hold your interest but not so laborious that you realistically have no chance of achieving them.

What Have You Attracted In Your Life?

An important part of my work are affirmations. I often suggest them towards end of my Tarot readings as exercises to have different perspectives, and watch over our thoughts carefully. Over a period of time, I have realised the misinterpretation towards affirmations. Some roll their eyes dismissively , some do them half heartedly while others simply reject them. Most give up doing the affirmations mid way, for some it just feels like a waste of time. The trick to doing affirmations is to feel them, in your heart, in your mind and in your bones.

I understand, for some after life’s repeated beating, deep dejection can set in. But I also know, that we attract people, situations exactly in spaces of our life where growth is required. This is not to say, that should suffer endlessly on the contrary this is about going against self defeating thoughts which if carried on for a long period of time can physically debilitate you besides turning you negative.

There is no great secret behind the “law of attraction”. We attract what we think or at times people, situations where we need to grow.

You can leave bad situations, abusive relationships and dead relationships. There is no higher good in suffering. The secret lies in fighting against negative conditioning. Be your cheer leader, be your own champion. Don’t let anyone define for you, what you can and can’t do.

You have the power to manifest goodness and love in your life.

 

Vulnerability And You

There have been endless discussions and debates on whether one should be vulnerable in a relationship or not. Being in a relationship or in love is itself the most uncertain thing. Being vulnerable with people we love is often like stripping your clothes – it’s stepping out of our inhibitions, our fears and exposing ourselves with a hope that we would be understood. It is the bravest thing that we can do in a relationship. And being the vulnerable one in a relationship can be challenging. Not just because of what it allows or doesn’t allow for, but also because it’s difficult to cope with. Being vulnerable and being the only one vulnerable just adds to your vulnerability. It is something which is often confused with being sensitive.

While, vulnerability is a necessary part of loving an individual and in order to love someone completely, you’ll have to pull down your walls of fear and allow this person in. You need to show him or her the person only you know yourself to be. And maybe risk rejection. For few people can accept us the way we are. We are often encouraged to be our “true selves” in a relationship and when we muster the courage to be so, we are often met with a, “you are not who I thought you to be” making our emotional toes curl in. And so the dance begins.  Now we don’t risk telling the truth as it is,  to our loved one’s for we have experienced our fear of rejection, being misunderstood manifesting.  “No, you tell yourself silently, I’d rather not go there. Anyhow, I can manage not being understood.”

However, if you are the only one vulnerable in the relationship, then there’s a good chance you’re going to make life more difficult for yourself than it necessarily has to be. If you are the only one feeling vulnerable, then you’re most likely going to stress about being hurt. And justifiably so, as love wouldn’t be love without the possibility of heartbreak.

Then comes a time when we realize the emotional fortress we’ve built around us is terribly lonely, isolating us from the one’s we love. And for some unfortunately, it becomes a way of life. The resignation of not being understood in a relationship though can give temporary peace it has potential for disaster.

Being vulnerable does cause us to worry. It causes us to imagine unlikely yet possible events that, were they to come to fruition, would devastate us. The human mind is a powerful thing, but all that power can be difficult to control. Sometimes our thoughts run away from us. We lose control and begin thinking negative thoughts. It’s such thinking that often leads to ruined relationships. Sometimes the only thing between a successful relationship and a failed one is your mental capacity for remaining focused on only the future and reality you wish to be a part of.

There will be times in your life when you feel vulnerable, and there will be nothing you can do about it. In fact, that’s almost always how the real love starts out. It isn’t the love that books, philosophies, religions, cultures, societies have been built upon. To love someone in such a way, you have to be brave in the face of the potential hurt. You have to be vulnerable because you’re choosing to be vulnerable. When you do that, and your partner does the same, it transforms your relationship and the world you see.

In Tarot the Chariot in a relationship reading

chariotis all about emotions, and choosing to be successful by controlling your emotions. The Chariot shows up when there is competition in your relationship and you feel like you have to prove yourself all the time. Chariot can signify feeling vulnerable without being able to show how you really feel. The Chariot in a relationship reading can bring out your fears of not being good enough. Sometimes one is much stronger than the other and is using their power in less than honorable ways to gain control in the relationship. The Chariot speaks of relationships that need time to develop so that you can both find out how to be comfortable in it without the fear of rejections and failure. Once a secure foundation has been established the relationship has a great potential, but only if you can give each other enough individual space.

 

When Love Gives Up On You: Tarot Card Of Betrayal

The worst feeling of being in love with someone is not being loved back or not being wanted the way you want them. Not enough that is. And they don’t tell you – they assume you will know -well  eventually you are expected to. They assume on your behalf you won’t bleed as much. Sure, you would feel the pain but you would get over it. So, the charade carries on, the dinners are done and the holidays are taken together and no mention is made of “ever after”

Such relationships are often lonely especially for the one who loves and lives in hope  to be with someone who does not reciprocrate in the same way. You cannot make people love you the way you do – no matter how much you care – they just don’t care back but the good news is,  it’s not end of the world. And after a while, you learn that someone holding your hand was just that, the time spent together was a mere habit, and since there were no promises made – nothing gets broken. Well, nothing on the outside that is. And unknowingly you become party to the crime. You knew there were no promises – so why did you expect? Why did you take all the conversations, sharing of happiness as a sign. And you learn again – that it’s still possible to get your heart broken.

“Don’t beleive in everything people write”,  I was told, and I wondered silently, what is it then that I beleive in? At some point, you realize that you have done too much for someone or something, the only next possible step is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you’ve to draw the line of determination from desperation.

 

seven_swordsIn Tarot, The Seven of Swords indicates that you may be tempted to sneak away from a particular situation that is not working for you any more, rather than dealing with it head on. As you do not feel ready to deal with the issues, you are aiming for a solution where you can just escape and not have to worry about it all. Are you trying to run away from commitment, responsibility, hard work or love? You may be procrastinating, letting problems slip and become worse because you do not want to deal with them. Sometimes you just have to face what has to be faced. So, the question is, “Is this realistic?” Will this ‘escape’ really accomplish what you want to and need to accomplish? Will it address the fundamental issues at hand here? The likely answer is no, and it may simply be an easy way out for now.

ten_swordsWhen the 7 of Swords is accompanied by upright 10 of Swords it reconfirms the feeling of betrayal. As such, the Ten of Swords is often associated with feeling the ‘victim’ in a situation. You may feel powerless as something comes to a crashing and sudden end, and you feel as if you are being attacked or backstabbed by someone else.

The Ten of Swords is about letting go and accepting your current circumstances. You no longer resist change but allow it to happen, even if it causes some initial pain and hurt to you. You accept that there must be change in order to facilitate renewal, and you allow it to occur rather than fighting it.

 

Top 7 Things NOT To Say To A Pisces!

1.    Why Do You Look So spaced out? 

Pisces are stronger then they think and wiser then they know. Pisces live in two worlds at all times. One is in their head, which has a huge ocean and mermaids and the other one our real world. Much as they love company, a Pisces is seldom lonely. Every now and then he retreats in his own world of magic. In fact, the Moon in the Tarot Cards represents Pisces.pisc 1

2.    How Could You Be So Naïve?

Even though Pisces is a mix of all signs since it ‘s the twelfth zodiac, they have a dreamy outlook on life. While they find beauty in the world around and seek inspiration from everything, they like to believe in everything on face value. Pisces have a way of living sideways. They seldom approach anyone with distrust.

3.    Don’t Worry

The fish likes to worry about everything. They like to imagine the worst scenario in their heads even before it has happened and then worry to death about it. Their imagination often gets them into trouble.

4.    You Decide

This is the worst thing you can tell a Pisces especially if it’s a Pisces rising as well. Pisces dread taking the lead on anything.  However, if you ask them gently to guide you – they would eagerly help. Pisces can be flaky to the point of frustration but they don’t intentionally mean to be this way – till the time it’s a matter of absolute importance – they will keep stalling.

5. You Don’t Care!

Your Pisces is either really emotional who takes everything to heart. Or he’s detached emotionally and is a cynic.  Pisceans are also known to throw the biggest pity party amongst all zodiacs. They don’t like to be blamed for anything. Though on the contrary they feel rresponsible to every ill that happens in the world .

pisces6 .  Are You Being Honest?

The Pisces symbol is of the two opposing fish representing the duality of their personality. It’s not that they like to tell stories, but seldom will be there a Pisces who will tell it as it is the first time round. Aggression seldom works with them.  Gentle suggestions will make your Pisces open up to you.

7 Let’s Do This NOW!

Pisces hate being pushed, given ultimatums and threats. Where an Aries would rise to the challenge – maybe even get excited at the prospect of a confrontation  – your Pisces will withdraw. Pisces has a fragile disposition and needs lot of down time. The odd thing is that Pisces fills that down time with more stuff to do so the endless ‘TO DO’ list short circuits their timing and inner clock. 

Pit Stop: 5 Things To Do at Vang Veing: Laos

Vang Vieng is almost like a pit stop enroute Luang Prabang.   The reason this tourist mecca has sprung up is the gorgeous Nam Song river and the magnificent karst mountains lining it.

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The imposing limestone structures rise up out of the land and run for kilometres, framing the rice fields and lazy river. The stunning landscape especially the majestic mountains that form a circle around the Nam Song

River changes various hues as the sun changes color with each passing hour. Sit by the various riverside restaurants with friendly faces and have a fizzy lemonade or sip the chilled local beer  “Beerlao”

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Tubing and Kayaking: This is a hot favorite at Vang Vieng – though I opted for the speed boat due to crunch of time and it was exhilarating. And to make things better, it started raining. Most of the people opt for tubing wherein you can just laze and  watch the sun set behind the mountains. The mountains are dotted with tine caves and a lot of people get off to explore these.

Pancakes: Nutella/Banana:

pancake nutella pancake

You can’t miss it, they make pancakes at almost every corner of the street. The best part is they  are cooked right in front of your eyes. The fillings can be of your choice. Locals who sell these come out late in the afternoon with prepared dough which is then extended and fried upon hot plates of their portable ovens – so that way you see that they’re fresh. Nutella is the hot favorite and rightly so – though I mixed it with a banana stuffing. It was the most gorgeous crispy, melting in mouth pancake I have ever had. There are various options of stuffings as well. Prices are from 10 000 KIP +, depending on what you order.

Hot balloon

Hot Air Balloon:

Unfortunately, I had not done enough or rather any research before going to Vang Vieng hence I completely missed the timings the hot air balloon took off. This is a huge regret. It’s a must do for everyone traveling to Vang Veing. Even though you might feel its a tad expensive but on comparing with what the rest of the countries offer its the cheapest option and a fantastic experience  Early mornings and sunsets are the sought after timings.

laap

Laap, sometimes known as “larb” or “laab”, is the national dish of Laos. Though it looks a bit messy, it’s absolutely delish. Laap is found almost in all the restaurants. This simple and popular meal is prepared with minced meat and blended with toasted rice called khao kua. Fish sauce and lime add a strong, citrus flavor and additional nutrition. Laap can be made of chicken, beef, duck, or pork and is served with sticky rice.Traditionally laap is served at room temperature and eaten with the hands, but most restaurants catering to tourists will provide utensils and bring it to you warm.

lao phoAnother dish that I practically lived on was the “noodle soup” or Lao Pho – which is the Laotian version of the Vietnamese noodle soup pho. Flavored with garlic, cilantro, lime, and basil, this light broth with noodles is a great healthy option.

 

Tham Xang (Elephant Cave) Tham Xang Cave was once feared by locals due to a limestone formation inside that resembles an evil monster’s head. It was even taboo to drink the water flowing from the cave. But over the years the elephant head is revered and the pilgrims visit the site each year usually around around the Lao New Year in April, to sprinkle water on the elephant head and pray for good health.

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10947240_10152740703445875_6827527393819696378_n  To find the elephant head, use a flashlight and follow the small passage at the top right-hand corner of the cave behind the large golden Buddha. Village elders believe it is taboo to hit the elephant’s head, hunt for bats, or consume alcohol in this cave. 11006464_10152737396410875_7550706661412233963_n The steep stairs to the cave offers a stunning view of the plain stretching to the Mekong River. Interesting Buddhist items, including several Buddha images and a small black box containing Buddhist literature, decorate the cave. It is worth noting that Japanese soldiers used the bat droppings from this cave to make gun powder during World War II, and in the 1960s and 1970s, locals used the cave for shelter during the Indochina War.

2015: The Year Of Growth

Shame. The feeling of being lesser, guilt of not doing better. One view of difference between shame and embarrassment says that shame does not necessarily involve public humiliation while embarrassment does; that is, one can feel shame for an act known only to oneself but in order to be embarrassed one’s actions must be revealed to others. Judging yourself through the eyes of others, constantly doubting yourself are self defeating habits which form a vicious pattern over time. Feeling crippled in situations, relationships are all signs of self doubt.

At work, one often hears managers dealing with their teams, ” you’re incapable of completing the smallest project; we’ll give it to another manager to complete it.” In personal relationships, ” if you loved me, or understood me – you would not be like this.” With our children,” why can’t you perform better, get better grades, be better behaved etc. make us proud.” Shaming causes life long scars irrespective of the age we are at. It cripples people to move ahead.

I am so tired of how hard we are on ourselves. Not attractive enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, not purpose-full enough, not spiritual enough, not flexible enough, not creative enough, not rich enough, not happy enough, not healthy enough, not sexy enough, not wise enough. It’s like a collective shame-fest that begins when we are born and continues until we are dead. Billions of us walking around convinced we are not something enough. Methinks we are missing the point. Just being alive on this mad planet demands that we are enough. That we are here means we are enough. There is no value in hiding our value under a mountain of shame. We have so many gifts inside, a treasure trove of wonder just waiting to be lived. This life is a hero’s journey.

Anyone who sticks it out and gives it their best shot is heroic, in my eyes. What we call normal is so often extraordinary. Just overcoming the weight of the world, and making a genuine effort to identify and honor our true-path is profound. Without self-love, no external achievement or internal transformation means much of anything. I am finding that the greatest relief comes from accepting that I cannot do it all in one lifetime.

 

What if this year, we each took a vow to be an enabler?  To have the patience to make someone understand what is wrong and how it could be corrected. Give yourself this year – your time, your patience – add value to other’s lives.

 

Is This Love?

I want to love you and treat you right,
I want to love you every day and every night,
We’ll be together with a roof right over our heads,
Is this love, is this love, is this love,
Is this love that I’m feelin’? (Bob Marley)

Yeah! Well, so – we’ve been together for two years and she is wonderful in every sense – he gushed. I haven’t felt this way for anyone in a long time. I just have a gut feel about her – and it’s good. But, I want to know – is this for real? Is this really “the” love for keeps? Or you know – he cleared his throat politely, I should just ummm play it by the ear?

I was quite amused by the sheer candidness of the thirty something man I was reading for. Typical to a metro city – he had been chasing his tail for a long time. And, he was ready to “hang his boots” so to speak.

I did a simple Celtic cross reading for him which is a 10 card spread.

Two of Cups was the core of the reading.

The Two of Cups is connected to the zodiac Water signs of Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. The 2 of Cups relates to the number 2 which is a number of duality, balance, diplomacy and ambition.

In the Tarot card, a woman and a man are standing, looking into each other’s eyes. Behind them is a serene, cloudless blue sky. They each hold a gold cup. The woman holds hers with two hands, the man with one as he reaches toward her.

Superimposed onto the idyllic scene is a winged lion’s head with a staff holding intertwined snakes coming in between our lovers and their cups. The glyph that hovers above and between the lovers is a stylized rendering of the Caduceus.

This is an ancient Greek affirmation of the merging of masculine and feminine natures into one derived from the myth of Tiresias, who was turned into a woman for seven years.

The Two of Cups shows power that is created when two come together. This is the card that lovers want to see, and, in fact, the Two of Cups is the minor arcana equivalent of the Lovers in many ways. The Two of Cups has a deeper meaning as well.

Whenever two forces are drawn together, there is the potential for bonding. This card can stand for the union of any two entities – people, groups, ideas, or talents. Two of Cups tells you to look for connections in your life, especially those that are one-on-one. Now is not the time to separate or stay apart.

It is the time to join with another and work as a partnership. If you are in conflict, look for truce and the chance to forgive and be forgiven. If you are struggling with two choices or tendencies within yourself, seek to reconcile them.

Usually, the Two of Cups is welcome in a reading, but it can also sound a note of warning. The energy of Two can be very compelling. They create between themselves a world of their own that can feel exclusionary to outsiders. “Two’s company; three’s a crowd.”

Make sure that the tendency to pair off is not creating disharmony in your situation.

The II of Cups indicates the sharing of one’s gifts with another and of a perfectly controlled energy flowing between them, both within and without.

Lastly, if the surrounding cards affirm the same, the II of Cups also indicate that you may find love with someone you have not previously thought of in a romantic way.

It is important to keep an open mind and be open to possibilities.

Love Makes My World Go Around…

Let’s talk about love, love, love, love
That’s all I am dreaming of
(Modern Talking)

I often wonder about a lot of music being about love, heartache, an emotion so strong it either turns our world upside down or makes us walk on a cloud!! I for one, love being in love. I love the heady rush it gives me when I am with that someone special or the love I feel when I watch my boys sleep. It is the same love which makes my mum wake at 4:00 AM to see me off catch a flight.

The power of love literally sets the universe in motion.

At times I vacillate in my airy Libran way between being a full on sucker for love and examining it under a microscope with proper scientific objectivity. After agonizing on the pro’s and con’s and a weary mind and still undecided I let it rest. It’s a curious subject, love, and it is no less curious in tarot when it appears as the Major Arcana card: The Lovers.

This time I was doing a “work” reading for a guy who was trying to figure out how to operate in his current rigid organisation.

In a romantic relationship it’s fairly common to get the Lovers card, but in a work scenario – it sort of baffles you. You stare at the image of the passionate couple and think…WTF? Originally, it probably didn’t have much more to represent than our well known concept of romantic love.

In Astrology, the Lovers card is represented by the planet Venus, which governs the signs of Taurus and Libra. The zodiac sign associated with the Lovers is Gemini. The two figures in the Lovers card are blessed and protected by the angel in the clouds above them. This angel, in particular, is Raphael, the angel of Air.

The fallback meaning is of “choice” and of following one’s heart to make that choice, so at least there is that.

When the Lovers card appears in a reading, it is important to think about what decisions and choices you are facing. The fact that the Lovers is a Major Arcana card indicates that these decisions or choices are incredibly important and significant so it is essential that you choose the right path.

Sure, there could be an easy option available but you will need to ask yourself whether this is the right path for you in the long run. If you find yourself at a moral crossroads where you must choose between taking the moral high ground or the low ground, then you need to consider all consequences before acting.

The Lovers card highlights that your own value system is being challenged, and you must make a definite choice based on that system.

So which is it? True love? The kind poets only dream about? Or decision and choice? The Lovers card is a reminder that balance is essential. Although the heightened experience of whirlwind passion is incredibly delicious – deep inside we know that this experience alone doesn’t make a solid foundation and it seldom lasts.

Common sense will prevail if you’re asking a question having nothing to do with relationships and The Lovers appears. Of course it could possibly be saying that in the course of working on your new movie script, you will meet your soulmate in the coffee shop just like in the movies, but if nothing else in the cards indicates such, you really must lean towards the concept of choosing a heartfelt and heart-directed path over another “more sensible” option.

In addition, at #6 the Lover’s card is about “harmony.” It’s about something that speaks to you, that you “know” and recognize as your inner voice.

You could also experience this psychic attraction to something small like a pair of shoes you have to have, or a rock band whose music says all you ever wanted to say. Or you might be drawn to something huge, a plot of land you want to own, or someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend who, at first sight, makes you think: “That’s my husband/wife.” heheheh

Love is crazy and not wise and yet it is what it is and being who you are, choose for love. Life is just too short not to.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”. Christopher Robin to Pooh

3 of cups is by far one of my favorite cards. It reminds me of my closest friends – friends who have stood by me – through trials and happiness. In 3 of cups, one can see three women dancing together in a circle. Their arms reach out to each other to connect their feelings (Cups). These dancing women are a symbol of coming together in love. (Of course, these feelings do not only relate to women) The 3 of Cups is often associated to healing and regeneration. In Health readings, the 3 of cups can indicate a recovery or restoration of one’s health.

The 3 (triad) is the number of synthesis and harmony. Somehow, for me this card consistently draws comparison to the Three Graces in Greek myth.

The Thoth deck shows 3 cups made out of pomegranates. Aleister Crowley calls it the card of Persephone. Persephone is the minor Greek goddess of springtime, flowers and young life. She is also the queen of the Underworld. Persephone, is the daughter of Demeter and Zeus, and the wife of Hades. She eats a pomegranate seed when she is in the underworld to where Hades has abducted her, and that act of eating the food of the dead ties Persephone to Hades. The grief-stricken Demeter follows her daughter into the underworld and demands that she joins her in the upper world for a certain time of the year. Demeter’s wish is granted. When Demeter and her daughter were united, the Earth flourished with vegetation and color, but for six months each year, when Persephone returned to the Underworld, the earth once again became a barren realm: and that is how the seasons came from. In Spring and Summer, Persephone and her mother are together. In Fall and Winter, Persephone goes back with Hades.

This is the myth to explain the weather changes in Fall and Winter compared with Spring and Summer. Hence the rejoicing.

3 of cups also reminds me of the wonderful connection and friendship that exists between the four female characters in “Sex and the City”. They stand by each other, through thick and thin, and they are always there for one another as they make their way through various relationships, careers and other life journeys.

Its the same sense I get when I think of my closest friends – a knowledge that we will be there for each other and know that we can always count on each other for support and compassion.