The term narcissism is related to Greek mythology and the story of Narcissus. Narcissus was handsome, self-involved, arrogant and in love with his own image. He couldn’t tear himself away from his reflection in a pool of water, and ultimately his self-love consumed him. He died gazing at himself in the water.
Narcissistic functioning can also be described as a disorder of listening.Think of it as one-sided listening, with multiple features that emerge as a result. It is hard to maintain any kind of relationship with someone who chooses to ignore what you say and is generally silently contemptuous. People with narcissistic syndrome are quick to take offence and are insistent on proving their point of view. They tend to be quite self-absorbed and have a larger than life image of themselves.
If you find our partner constantly violating your boundary and blames you for over stepping – take it as a red flag. A classical example is: if you hear a, “it’s your fault that I am angry because you bring out the worst in me”.
Narcissists have a sense of entitlement either in relationships or their attitude towards dealing with others. They expect others to cater to their whims.
Guilt is one of the most potent tool used by narcissist partners. “You are ungrateful, I have done so much for you or I’ve had such a rough time in my life and you should help me or you don’t listen to me, you’re critical of me. Or you’re trying to control me. You need to apologize, not me. Or if I’m mad, it’s because I’m frustrated by what you are doing.
If the above ring a bell, take a good hard look at your relationship.
On the surface, narcissists often display a warm and charming demeanour. Not all narcissists are created alike, so the way you choose to handle one in your life should be based on which type you’re dealing with. Some narcissists may truly suffer from low self-esteem and intense feelings of inadequacy, it’s important to recognize when they can benefit from professional intervention.
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