“Who you are and what you do is of great interest to my soul
Yet I have no expectations of you my friend
I am so very happy to watch you from the windowsill of life
Free to be the individual you hold within
If you will come and sit beside me and rest upon life’s windowsill
We will watch together as the world spins by so fast
Just accept me as I am and I will do the same for you
Such a splendid friendship we will have” – N Flores
It’s true, as much as we may want, wish, need or even desire for our partners to feel or think in a certain way, we can’t. It’s upto them, how they choose to be with you. And in no way am I suggesting that we should lower our expectations out of our relationships – let me elaborate a bit.
When you place your self worth or happiness on the actions of people you care for, you’re setting yourself up for disappointments. It’s okay for people you care for deeply, not to feel passionately about things that you feel for. You may feel disappointed about their reactions and it may make you resentful, remind yourself in these times to be open to their reactions.
Focus on building your own happiness, things that you are passionate about. You have control over how you feel and what you believe – it does not have to be the other person’s priority and that’s fine. Operating from a belief that people we care for are supposed to be there for us is more of a conditioning or a belief system that you have. Your partner’s, parents, children’s actions are not a reflection of you. You choose to participate of be engaged in whatever level that you want and that your conditioning tell you is right.
Let go of thoughts which remind you, why you are justified feeling guilty, angry or disappointed. Try and stay in the present, let go of the worry how the other person should behave. If people treat you disrespectfully, you have the power to not be the situation. Move yourself away from stories of rejection or fear that your mind may tell you.
Love and respect cannot be asked for or even demanded. Yes, we can hope for it. But when people choose to hold them away from you, recognise it for what it is.
Make space in your life to create your own happiness.