The EQ & IQ War

Sometimes wonder, when I read Tarot for someone, do they feel annoyed because I always seem to focus in on the card in their reading that says, “While you may not have control over this, you do have control over that, therefore you should….” While many find that kind of advice helpful, there are others that just skip past that part and focus on the outcome or future prediction.

They just want to know what will happen “eventually” or rather I can sense the “cut the story” energy.   There’s a reason I focus on the Advice card rather than the Outcome. The reason is Locus of Control.  Your locus of control may change the outcome.

There are a lot of us who operate more from the “IQ” rather than the “EQ”. So, most of the hurt, rejection gets rationalized and seldom touches the inner core. Unfortunately, highly analytical minds also tend to come across as detached/unmoved and unknowingly they cause a lot of pain and hurt while dealing with people with a high EQ.

I think many people choose to get a tarot reading because they are feeling some lack of control in some area of their lives and they want to look ahead and see what’s coming around the bend.  I do have people coming out of curiosity and more or less one can make out the type – unwilling to share any information – just sitting quietly throughout the reading – neither confirming nor denying anything.

There are many things that happen to us that are outside our immediate control and they can be a tad worrisome. But there are things that only seem as if they are outside our control that can be brought into our control if we adjust our thinking and then our actions.  At minimum, even if we cannot control the situation itself, we can control our own responses to it.

If one has a strong external locus of control, they believe much that happens in life is chance, luck, or misfortune.  A strong internal locus of control is more self-determinate and believes that you pretty much get what you give and act upon.

Most of us fall more toward one end or the other of the spectrum, but few are die hard extremes.  Believing in reincarnation, for example, is one way people explain injustice, cruelty and poverty.  By positing that we choose our next incarnation for spiritual learning purposes helps us breathe a sigh of relief when we are faced with inexplicable human tragedy.

By theorizing that we attract everything we experience into our lives by our vibrations is also a conscious shift to fairly extreme internal locus of control.  It feels better to believe we are in control, in some way, of most if not all that happens to us.

Finding that card in the reading that can shift that locus of control more to the internal side of the scale is often a crucial key in changing a situation’s outcome. I often look for the card at first go and finding it – I hinge most of my reading on the “key” card.

Let’s dig a little deeper.

So if the cards show a recommended course of action that you know would be helpful but you really don’t feel inspired to follow. Trick is to locate the block and the wedge that will split that block wide open.  Maybe there is some inspiration to be found.  What do the cards have to say about that?  Where is the resistance inside and why is it there?  So in many a abusive relationships, there is more to it than one may see, there may be addiction, love, stubbornness, and attraction from both sides.

There may be “drawing patterns” and finding comfort in the “known” pain. Also, most of the time its convenient to blame others for our pain/misfortune because you’re such a “nice” person and are just having a raw deal.

I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle.  We know there are external forces outside our control that impact and influence our lives, sometimes for good, sometimes not.  While there may be nothing we can do about those events, we can proactively choose the perspective with which we view the events as well as our active responses to them.

Following the path of least resistance often leads us to just coast along without direction, even though we know we could change course if we wanted.

For example, If I complain that I am too fat to fit into my clothes but refuse to either exercise or buy new clothes, I am simply going to be unhappy with myself and my clothes.  Why we do this to ourselves for extended periods of time, I don’t know.  I’ve done it.  We all do it from time to time. 

The whole purpose of my tarot reading is to help one increase their internal locus of control.  Come to a reading feeling a lack of control, leave the reading feeling you’ve gained some control or at least a perspective or plan on how to gain more.

Some may say I’m working myself out of a job, for if only people who feel a lack of control seek out a reading, then helping people empower themselves by shifting to an internal locus of control is counterproductive to my earning a living reading tarot.  Not so.

Tarot’s usefulness extends beyond this.  Knowing one has control but not being sure which choice to make often leads people to a tarot reading. The desire to identify internal blocks and the best means to break them also prompts tarot readings.

Sometimes the reading itself serves as Ace of Wands in a can and prompts someone to act on their own behalf.

But my aim is always to push a bit further into that internal place where one’s own Ace of Wands need igniting and provide the match.