Tag Archives: Love astrology

Why Am I Not In A Relationship?

You really can’t predict as to when and how and where you will meet “the one”. Sometimes, it’s as simple as meeting someone in a bookstore, at a friends place or even at work…

So, while it could be a tad difficult to predict the above you could do a quick self check to gauge whether it’s something uncontrollable in your life that’s stopping you from having that relationship or it’s simply you who’s not ready to share their lives yet…

One doesn’t have to be in a devastated state or a complete emotional mess to know this, simple things like being too engrossed in yourself and your work or lack of time to make space for others could be a factor as well. Sometimes, it could be a certainty that you just can’t be happy till you are not in a relationship.

See if you relate to the following..

You are preoccupied on finding love

If most of your conversations, thoughts, writings reflect the focus on your inability on finding love then maybe you need to pause. If your energy is focussed on the dating game and most of your interests are around planning ways you can find love than on focus on yourself, it’s time to try something different.Attract someone who is emotionally healthy and a strong sense of self worth and in order to do that your own self worth should be high. No relationship can make you feel better about yourself or less lonely or more worthy. Focus on yourself, on things that make you happy. Else, you’ll end up attracting someone who’s equally needy or insecure.

You Think You Don’t Need To Change

If you have been single for a while, chances are you have your routine in place which makes your life as uncomplicated as possible and chances also are that you really are not keen to upset your current weekend scene. If you don’t see yourself giving up your weekend routines or feel resentful about making adjustments then perhaps you aren’t quite ready to have a serious relationship. Expecting a potential partner to make all the adjustments and expecting them to fit in your current life is unfair. Maybe for a while, you should stick to your convenient routine life. Relationships require work, which can bring upon inconveniences, you need to ask yourself, how inconvenient you are willing to be in order to be in a relationship.

You’re Looking For Someone Different From Your Ex

While on the surface it’s a good thing. Hopefully, you’ve learnt lessons which you shouldn’t repeat. Rather than focus on what you don’t want, focus on being the person you would like to be with. We mirror each other in relationships. Our job is not to change our partners in our relationship. And neither should be expect our partner to bring about some magical change in us. If you have an ugly temper, you can’t lamely say, “because you bring out the worst in me”. Be accountable for how you feel.

You’re Using It As A Filler

Maybe you’ve just gotten over a divorce or volatile relationship and your current job is stagnant – you feel stuck in life. If you find yourself being on the hunt every weekend trying to score and make yourself feel better or distract yourself from the ache inside, you are definitely not ready for a committed relationship. Be willing to work through your mess and not pretend that there’s been no emotional damage. Don’t cover it with casual flings.

You Can’t Ever Admit You’re Wrong

Have you learnt any lessons from your previous broken relationships? Do you accept that there was truth in what your ex said? If however you have a really hard time apologising and give others a hard time when they do, you still have a lot to learn and evolve. Though, no one is ever right but you feel that you’ve been the victim all along or you are willing to sour things in your relationship over your ego, maybe you are better playing the weekend doing game. There’s no point having a relationship without a healthy foundation of understanding. And if you’re not willing to sort through your mess you’ll just have another bad relationship.

The change needs to begin with you.

There Are No Accidents In Choosing The People We Love….

As per the Buddhist teaching, “there are no coincidences in life. The people we choose as partners have a purpose in our life. Whether it is to make us grow in specific areas of our life or to support us in our journey, it depends on the kind of connect we have with them. The effects of our interaction contribute to the real connections between ourselves and others so that they are never lost. This is more than just what your actions affect the world that we live in and will rebound from that world. This is about the effects of actions determining the connections you will encounter throughout all life times in this or any other realm of existence”.

Is it coincidence that we meet someone just at the right time when the odds of it happening are a million to one? Are chances meetings or coincidences just a distraction, or are they an indication that the nature of reality is very different from the way we habitually regard it? Jung talked of this kind of phenomenon in terms of synchronicity. It seems to happen more and more as one embarks on a spiritual path. I noticed it happen in a subtle form in begining and gradually being more pronounced since I embarked on the path to awareness. Simple instances like, thinking about a certain friend who has been out of touch and getting a phone call from them or even bumping into them accidently. More significant have been with people who absolutely were not in touch for years but were there on my mind – suddenly reappear and pick the friendship from where it was left.

Sometimes, people come in our lives as catalysts, to shake us, to remind us that it’s not to late, to break through our stagnant life patterns and other times we need them to remind us and to hold space for us.

Ironically, we may not understand the purpose of every person we meet in this life… In some ways, we have to look at the world as a giant fabric of vibrant colours, like a weave running all through it — some threads being smooth and gentle, while other uneven burlap. Each weave depicts a different meeting that has happened or yet to happen.

Though, not all encounters are supposed to last forever; sometimes, those encounters happen momentarily.. Perhaps it was to delay you, so that a mishap could be avoided or maybe even to arrange a meeting for you with a potential lover. Sometimes, the Universe sends us people to help us on our journey, even if they aren’t meant to contribute much or be a significant part of it.

The purpose of a relationship is to have the courage to see ourselves as we are… see the warts, the fear, the brokenness and the courage in us, that we are otherwise unconscious of.

The purpose of a relationship is to get under our skin, infuriate, overjoy and destroy us, so we can understand what drives us mad, what overwhelms us, and where we need to give ourselves love….and if you have a partner who has the courage to help you grow and is supportive of you as an individual, not feeding on your insecurities but stands beside you while you come undone and holds that space for you while you put yourself together…you’re home.

The purpose of a relationship is not to fix us, or heal us, or to make us whole and happy, it is to show us where we need fixing, and what parts of us are still broken, and yes, it is also not about being mocked or ridiculed or being belittled about your brokenness….it’s about both the partners understanding that nobody can do this work, or make us happy but ourselves.

So, roll your sleeves and have the courage to hold the space for the one you love – maybe they will come undone not once but several times…and so will you…have the patience to know, we all are capable of healing and loving deeply, authentically – given the chance.

July Full Moon In Capricorn : Power Struggles & Transformation

July full moon in Capricorn will highlights power struggles in relationships. Like the cardinal cross tussel, you can expect different areas of your life at polarities with each other. The time you spend at work versus the time you spend at home. Your heart versus your head. Try and keep your ego in check. Over analysing situations, working yourself up to an emotional mess are to watch out for. Like all full moon’s this moon too, is a a powerhouse of building up on inner tensions which would demand a release.
Focus on channelising your energy for changing challenging situations in your life that may have formed a pattern. Waiting for the “right” time to change could be the biggest mistake you could be convincing yourself of. Use your inner strength to transform pain bodies in your life.

Depending on the placement of your chart where the full moon will be highlighting the specific area of your life, resist the urge to control the outcome of a certain situation.

In your relationships, if there has been disharmony or constant conflict, then maybe it’s a time to look at your own conditioning closely. Try not to hang on to people from the past or your previous relationships either with a sense of regret or guilt. Rather than be overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness, allow awareness to come in and let balance prevail. Some of you may feel manipulated, controlled or find people close to you guilt tripping and blaming you for it. Use this time to surround yourself with positive influences, nurture yourself, take time to meditate.

Since the July full moon is in Capricorn, which is only a degree away from Pluto,the planet of unearthing deeper feelings and intensity and often transforms only through destruction and renewal. This is as powerful as a full moon can get. Emotions are already high at a full moon but now they become all-powerful, all-consuming.

Try not to be come obsessed with how you are feeling. However, some of you may have powerful dreams – keep a journal at hand. Your intuitions could be right but your judgment could be impaired.

Change is imperative, whether you seek it or it’s forced upon you. The goal is to transform your patterns and not be resistant.

Allow your soul to grow so you may lead a better, aware life.

June Full Moon In Sagittarius: Heal and Transform Yourself

The June Full Moon is one of the most potent in 2017. It falls in  Sagittarius, bringing issues like freedom, transformation and finally optimism to surface.

Jupiter is the supreme god of the Roman pantheon, called  “shining father”. He is a god of light and sky, and protector of the state and its laws. Be it political situations which have been unjust or relationships which have been unequal, Jupiter will force justice and a sense of fair play. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter or as per the Greek mythology  Zeus.  He is a son of Saturn and brother of Neptune and Juno (who is also his wife).  He does not tolerate manipulation. 

The Sagittarius energy is giving  and expansive and whenever the Full Moon is in Sagittarius it tends to expand or amplify our personal emotions and situations forcing us to deal with them and bring about change so a balance may be maintained. This full moon expect your relationships to be up for investigation and review. Things which have not worked so far, will have to transform.

With the Venus retrograde squaring Saturn retrograde for most of May 2017 has already placed a lot of strain on love relationships and on personal finances resulting in power struggles. The previous new moon in may brought about some amount of heartache or unexpected events  related to your money or personal life.

It is not all bleak and grey, for post the Full Moon, you will have clarity about which part of your love life you need to change or maybe in some dire cases, even let go. It’s as though the full moon will shine a torch at the dark areas where changes or adjustments need to be made. Post the full, there will be a sense of peace and release. A fragile relationship might break, there could a sense of betrayal or disrespect  and a  healthy one may experience some uncomfortable moments but continue to evolve. Try not to reach out to ex’s during this time or even start a new relationship quickly. Your sense of self could feel challenged, keep yourself away from taking drastic actions, even though temporarily, they might feel good.

https://youtu.be/b2o0HDnG3Fw

The June Full Moon will fill our lives with hope, courage and maybe a direction we have not explored earlier. While the focus is on transformation, it is also about new beginnings. It’s time to clear the baggage from past, release the old hurts and look at our scars gently, be proud of the journey you have undertaken so far, celebrate yourself, so you can welcome a wonderful tomorrow.

 

3 Signs You Are In A Co Dependent Relationship

Research defines codependency as a behavioural pattern in which you constantly seek approval or validation for your self esteem and identity. It can prevent you from having a healthy relationship and one in which you are constantly seeking the other persons attention and an inability to individually emotionally feel for yourself. Codependent people tend to display almost addictive behaviour which can turn into emotionally destructive behaviours.

It is true, relationships can be a boon or a challenge in our daily lives, depending on the kind of  partners we subconsciously choose or attract. From a soul growth perspective, we are drawn to people who may either activate our dormant triggers allowing us to work in areas of life which need healing or partners who collaborate with us on a soul level and become our cheer leaders while together we do the soul dance.

Codependency is easy to fall into, especially if you have had a childhood deprived of emotional support or any form of neglect in the childhood in which either you were left to fend for yourself or your emotional needs were brushed aside, making you crave for approval or trying to get love from people who could generally be difficult or avoidant of your emotional needs.   The dysfunction is so subtle, that initially in a relationship a partner who is being subjected to it, may feel flattered and wanted. But, once the charm dies the neediness can grate making the pull and push of the relationship incredibly painful to deal with on a daily basis.

  • You feel confined: Since the time you have been in the relationship, you have had to give up on your friends, there are no more “hanging out with the buddies” nights. You feel guilty about spending time with your friends fearing your partner may not like it. It could be that few of your good friends could be of the opposite sex and you may resent you having to give explanations to your partner. Relationships are not prison terms, if you feel restricted chances are it’s not a healthy relationship.
  • You can’t imagine a life without your partner: Yes, it’s cute and romantic doing things together, but if you don’t have a life of your own and depend upon your partner for creating  happiness or a sense of purpose in your life, you can wave your relationship a goodbye.
  • You give and give and then simmer in silent anger:  You mother your partner to a point that they start ignoring your needs. In a healthy relationship, there is give and take and mutual respect. You have to practice taking care of your needs instead of complain or feel let down when your partner refuses to do that for you. Rather than remind your partner or make them count the number of things you do for them, maybe you need to step out of the parenting relationship and take care of your inner self. If something does not feel right, have the courage to say it upfront and not let it fester like an infected wound. Face the fights and arguments and practice standing up for yourself. Either your relationship will evolve and change or you will have clarity in which direction to move.

Being a helpless spectator in your relationship is no fun. The truth is, no one can make us feel better about ourselves. This is self work. Yes, if you manage to find a secure partner who is willing to roll their sleeves and hold your hand while you do the work – it’s wonderful.

Love is being free while being together, its not living in fear or behaving in a scripted way.

 

The Truth About Vulnerability

\ vul•ner•a•ble: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or being open to attack or damage. \

The bitter truth about being vulnerable is: it’s misunderstood. Remember the times, you were asked to get your sh*t together, get a grip of your life and reminded how old you were etc etc…

Being vulnerable is a strength few people understand and accept. Those who get overwhelmed by it look at it as a weakness, repulsed or embarrassed by the emotions they witness.

The truth is courage and vulnerability go hand in hand. Each cannot exist without the other.

However, do be careful as to who you share it with. People are often not comfortable dealing with complex emotions and instead of feeling supported,  you may end up feeling guilty about your feelings or develop feelings of shame or low self esteem.  You are also not a nut job if you share  your insecurities or sadness … all you are doing is looking for empathy and love.

According to Dr. Brown, disengagement is the most dangerous factor that erodes trust in a relationship. The only way to avoid this is to risk being vulnerable with your partner by asking for help, standing up for yourself, sharing unpopular opinions, and having faith in yourself and your partner.

I am a big believer of therapy. If your partner is closed to your vulnerability, seek a therapist. Get counselling done. We all need a hand to hold in our moments of darkness and there is no glory in suffering alone.

Take care of yourself , be courageous, be accountable for your own inner well being. And stop apologising for yourself.

Pet Therapy And Your Emotional Health

Those of us who own pets know they make us happy. And thankfully, a growing body of scientific research is showing that our pets are good for our emotional well being.

I have forever had a dog and despite the inevitable heart break, this has been an never ending love affair. Whether you are dealing with depression or anxiety, pets have a way of calming you down. One study even indicates that when people with borderline hypertension adopted dogs from a shelter, their blood pressure declined significantly within five months.

Research also indicates, when dealing with stressful situations at work or home  playing with your pet can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax. Research indicates, pet owners have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels (indicators of heart disease) than those without pets.

Besides your emotional well being, they also take care of your physical well being. They get you going, allowing you to blow off pent up stress and relax, distracting you from situations/ things you could be battling with and forcing you to be in the present.

While, pets are miracle mood enhancers, do ensure that you are taking care of them and not just using them to entertain you temporarily and then abandon them. Don’t scream/ shout at them, pets especially dogs are hyper sensitive about our moods. It’s like having a child at home. Imagine the emotional trauma you could cause to a being who is voiceless and unable to express his anxiety. In fact, pets can teach you emotional discipline with their unconditional love. If you see you dog hiding behind couches or going in another room and hiding – it’s a sure red flag for you not to have a pet.

Every time you walk through your door they will be as enthusiastic as they were when you first got them. Caring for your pets is extremely rewarding for your emotional health. With growing children in the house, pets can encourage expressing love, being responsible and being a kind human – which goes a long way in bringing up emotionally healthy adults.

Try and get a pet from the shelter, they make excellent companions. They teach you that though life is short, all you can do is love unconditionally and be grateful.

How Needy Are You?

“Don’t be needy, you will ruin your relationship” and “I can’t handle her neediness” or “needy people need to see a shrink”,  how often have we heard this from our friends, read on different blogs, contradicting theories on being needy.

In another perspective, people fear that if they respond to their partners’ emotional needs, then their partners will become more dependent and keep wanting more. To avoid this fear, they push  their partners away.

There is research showing just the opposite—that if a partner is responsive to dependency needs, the partner functions more autonomously likely because they feel more secure.  As human beings, we are wired to depend on one another. As humans, we like connecting with other people whether to listen or to be heard. Being on our own has the possibility of hampering our emotional growth.  As someone wise said, “You can’t be human all by yourself.”

Wanting to connect and attached is often confused with a person who is emotionally dependent and cannot think or feel for themselves. The shaming which gets done on a regular basis as simple as saying, “why don’t you get your sh** together”,  is used  conversationally, not realising the damage of insecurity it increases. There is no shame in needing your partner or loved one to be there for you in a relationship. If your partner feels awkward about your vulnerability or shames your need to be loved wholly, accepting as you are without pretences, you might want to take another look at your relationship.

The truth is, at some point or the other, we have all dealt with regret, emptiness and  self-hatred in our lives. Whether we accept it or resist, we want to be heard, to be accepted and to be understood.

Accept that you are someone who wants to rely on others, wants to trust, wants to love and be loved as deeply and authentically as possible….which will require you to bare your soul and be vulnerable. Ignore the naysayers who insist,  you have to be a perfect, highly functioning human being before you even consider entering into a relationship.

It’s the biggest myth of all….no one is perfect… ever.

You can rationalise your need for space, for doing your own thing on your own, but, people need loving relationships to thrive.

To my credit, I’ve understood few basic things. I understand that it’s pointless to be needy with people with whom you can’t be yourself…people who are not comfortable accepting who you are. My caustic sense of humour has helped me get by as has been my ability to write. That’s the thing about not dealing with your core – your inner being, you forget to take care of yourself – on what works for you, what makes you happy. You get so focused on the other persons needs that you forget you have any needs to begin with.

Sadly, all this does is, develop relationships which are fine on the surface, but if you were to scratch them, they fall apart. The fear to hide your true self, behind the easy, fun to get along with, low key intensity – works for everybody. So, you learn not to dive in too deep in relationships, skirt around the boundaries and emotions. After all, who wants a intense, complex person on their hands? The fear of letting out your neediness and the frustration which by now could have converted to anger is repressed constantly. Don’t let it out, stay cool, stay easy…that’s what people can deal with. Right?

What if I were to tell you, there are people who are willing to roll up their sleeves and work with you on whatever it is that you need? Whether it was fear of abandonment, love – whatever you needed as a child or in during a bad relationship and didn’t receive.

Practice being real, with those few. Even if you feel stupid, incapable of a deep relationship (could be childhood neglect or result of bad relationships) have the courage to open yourself up – bit by bit. People who can see through your  bravado, bluster, and pain will hold you close.

Always remember, all you need is compassion and someone who can appreciate you for you are. You are just asking to be seen, heard, validated. And not just general appreciation. Specific appreciation helps, maybe your ability to write beautifully, your wit. Most importantly, your partners ability to reassure you on a regular basis that you will not be abandoned and the fact that love will stay.

No one enjoys or wants to be ‘needy. To deny a need is to deny a fact. By pure definition, it’s an absolute requirement. Need, not ‘want.’ I have never heard people say, ‘you’re want-y.’ Whether we accept it or not, we all have needs, which have to be acknowledged and it helps to know what they are.

Let’s not shame, scoff or worse ignore the loneliness and brokenness. Let’s accept and embrace the knowledge that we are capable of feeling isolated. Let not fear of loss of a relationship stop us to share our  stories and ourselves.

Venus Retrograde & How It Will Effect You (6th March – 15th April)

“We are born at a given moment in a given place and like vintage years of wine we have the qualities of the year and of the season in which we are born.” – Carl Jung

From MARCH 6 through APRIL 15 2017,  planet Venus will be retrograde. The signs which are most sensitive to a Venus retrograde are Taurus & Libra.  The retrograde motion of an inner planet is an apparent phenomenon as viewed from earth in which Venus appears to retrace its steps, hence giving a sense of moving backwards. Every 1 ½ years, Venus moves approximately 29 degrees ahead of the Sun.

Lessons in relationships, our values, how we value the people in our life will all be under review. With existing relationships, a Venus retrograde you will become acutely aware of how your partner treats you, values you/not and how they demonstrate their love. If you have heard people complain during a Mercury Retrograde that they lost their data or texted the wrong person, during Venus Retrograde watch out for lot of drama in your love life. Try not to purchase something exorbitant, you will sure to suffer from the buyers remorse.

Use the retrograde to evaluate rather than react or act. Yes, there are possibilities, you could become acutely aware of existing problems in your love life or unresolved issues. Venus retrograde is a good time to re-assess and re-examine our relationship values. What are the kind of people we attract in our lives? Are we constantly attracting people who put us down, mock us or are we drawing supportive and nurturing partners. There’s a strong possibility of old lovers to resurface. For some, it may become necessary to heal old wounds and put to rest old issues.

It’s natural to experience challenges in any romantic relationship, but if you have a deep bond and understanding Venus retrograde won’t cause any damage. If things have been intolerable and you have felt taken for granted or constantly misunderstood, these things if unresolved can only cause further damage to a relationship.The good, strong one’s will stand. The retrograde motion can alter our perspective, making us to misunderstand signals/situation. While Venus retrograde doesn’t imply deceit but rather a distorted version of truth regarding maybe a person we thought was the person of our dreams.

Venus is also all about money and how do we attract and value money.

Maybe you need to re-budget, re-plan your money. Maybe you need to look at your finances and update your books. Try not to invest in a luxurious house/dress or go in for a cosmetic makeover during a Venus retrograde. It’s a time to close loose ends financially, repay old debts.

During a Venus retrograde, seek a therapist if you have been suffering from emotional blockages. Revisit old issues and sort them. Revisit your old memories with your partner, how you met, where you went and how it all started. Recreate and rekindle the love flame which could be burning at a low.

More importantly, remember, it’s a phase. It has come to help you resolve old issues, so you can move on to a stronger, deeper relationship.

 

Are You An Emotional Bully?

“Authentic love does not de-value another human being”

“Man, I can’t talk to you about anything.”
“You just don’t get it, do you? I left my last relationship just because of this drama.”
“I’m not going to talk about this with you. ”
“Just drop it. I’m tired of this conversation.”

Let’s look at the case of *Sheena and Vikas. “It’s as though I am walking on egg shells around him and my feelings and emotions are seldom validated…I have tried talking various times with him but we’re unable to discuss the sensitive topics. I feel stuck and confused most of the time…as though it’s my fault though I know deep down it isn’t. I am forever accused of being over sensitive and refusing to change as per him.”

If this sounds familiar, welcome to the club of emotional abuse. A syndrome we don’t dream of attaching in our closest relationships for we don’t imagine our loved one’s would manipulate us. Emotional bullying is often confused under the garb of being branded as “hyper sensitive”, not being a good sport, using sarcasm often, painful things from the past dragged and the decisions made then questioned, making excuses for bad behaviour etc. If you’re constantly having your flaws pointed out and criticized, and being punished with withdrawal both emotionally and physically, all is not well at Eden.

Emotional abuse is far more hurtful than physical abuse because the scars are deeper and longer lasting. This type of abuse wears away at a person’s sense of self and causes the person to stop trusting their own perceptions. It becomes like a mind-game. Over time, the abused person has such low self-esteem that they start to blame themselves for the abuse. It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant reaction, as well as more subtle tactics like shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and subjugate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves. They didn’t learn healthy coping mechanisms or how to have positive, healthy relationships. Instead, they feel angry, hurt, fearful and powerless. When someone plays on your fear, guilt, compassion, or values to get what they want, they are emotionally abusing you.

When people constantly cross your personal boundaries despite repeated requests shows not only a complete lack of respect but also a need to control others.

No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. We need to go easy on ourselves and on others instead of constantly judging and embarrassing each other. The beauty of a relationship is in the fact that despite all your flaws, your partner chooses to see the best in you. Additionally, they help you work through them. If your partner keeps reacting and accusing with no intention of helping you find a way to better yourself, it serves as a major blow to your self-esteem. Constant reactions and shaming never helps anyone.

In any case, there shouldn’t even be such a thing as retribution in a relationship. There is simply no room for it. And this is non negotiable in a relationship. Just because you do something wrong doesn’t mean you ought to be subjected to punishment. If your partner chooses to punish you by cutting you off , isolating you and perusing his own interests or doing things to make you feel guilty, then it’s not fair to you. Mistakes are inevitable in a relationship, but if you’re made to feel guilty and your morality is going to be questioned, maybe you need to give a hard look at your relationship.

In Sheena’s case, Vikas chose to completely deny the situation as is. Thereby undermining Sheena’s  perception of the world in order to maintain control over her. For example, if she expressed  hurt by what he did, he would respond by saying, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re totally misreading the situation, you shouldn’t feel that way.” minimizing her experience by saying something like “You’re over reacting” made her question her perceptions so that eventually she  begins to mistrust them.

Emotional abusers  tend to be very touchy when the subject under discussion pertains to them. They are very easily offended. Instead of working on a problem with you, they will blame you for looking at it negatively or totally misunderstanding it. One has to be very careful with their words around them, as you never know what could upset them. This always keeps you in a very difficult position having to weigh each and everything before saying it. They will insist on treating you like a child and make you question your decisions. Often accusation of what you said will be repeated multiple times in order to confuse you and make you question your own mind. Unfortunately, we choose to ignore such signs since we are so attached to that person, and the relationship means so much to us that we can’t risk losing it. But it is important to look out for yourself and do the right thing no matter how difficult it is for you. You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel good about yourself. Remember, you don’t destroy people you love. You can heal broken bones, you cannot heal a broken mind.