Tag Archives: Astrology predictions

5 Signs Your Relationship Is For Keeps

We often look at love as the elixir that will save us from life. We get romantically involved and at times, more often than not, bad relationships make us wonder whether a certain relationship is “the one”?

Here are signs that the relationship is for keeps.

Respect

Yes, this is right above love, above everything else. Let me put it simply, if there’s basic respect towards each other – your relationship is for keeps. If there are tell tale signs of humiliating each other – even during fights it won’t last. You need to watch how you are treated during a fight. Does your partner respect boundaries or do they throw everything in the heat of the moment and burn the village down in their anger. If you cannot respect each other’s insecurities especially during a fight, you will fuel insecurity and a lack of trust in your relationship.

Friendship

The core of any relationship is being friends with each other and valuing that friendship above all. If you can laugh at yourself,  have the comfort of sharing your deepest self with your partner without feeling threatened, the relationship is for keeps. Whether you spend time doing nothing together or having the comfort of being in the same house yet doing your own thing, whether you are watching TV and your partner is reading a book are signs of a healthy and comfortable relationship.

Acceptance

If you can understand a simple concept, that your partner is different from you and it is not your life mission to change them – half your battle is won. Constructive feedback is great but if your partner is not open to any sort of feedback and is defensive or blows up every time you try and bring a non acceptable behaviour – take a look at your relationship again.  If you cannot wear your heart on your sleeve and are criticised for irrational things it’s a red flag. To put it simply,  a healthy relationship is where the couple accept each other and are not trying to create a mirror image of themselves.

Open Communication

If you able to have difficult conversations, without your partner walking off in a huff in between – you have a winner.  If you don’t have to think twice before saying anything and and feel you are  not walking on a land mine,  the relationship is for keeps. Couples who plan their future together, and work together to make them into a realty,  value each other. Planning a meaningful journey together and be able to have conversations around it are signs of healthy teamwork.

Trust

“Trust is a choice to be available, vulnerable and transparent in a relationship, because the person you’re trusting has proven worthy of your partnership through consistency in their honesty, integrity and dependability.”
Trust is much more than an instinct or a gut feel, people often confuse love and forgiveness with trust, while these can be given freely,  trust needs to be earned on merit alone. Relationships which have a consistent pattern, where the partners show up for each other and are consistent will weather many storms.

What Have You Attracted In Your Life?

An important part of my work are affirmations. I often suggest them towards end of my Tarot readings as exercises to have different perspectives, and watch over our thoughts carefully. Over a period of time, I have realised the misinterpretation towards affirmations. Some roll their eyes dismissively , some do them half heartedly while others simply reject them. Most give up doing the affirmations mid way, for some it just feels like a waste of time. The trick to doing affirmations is to feel them, in your heart, in your mind and in your bones.

I understand, for some after life’s repeated beating, deep dejection can set in. But I also know, that we attract people, situations exactly in spaces of our life where growth is required. This is not to say, that should suffer endlessly on the contrary this is about going against self defeating thoughts which if carried on for a long period of time can physically debilitate you besides turning you negative.

There is no great secret behind the “law of attraction”. We attract what we think or at times people, situations where we need to grow.

You can leave bad situations, abusive relationships and dead relationships. There is no higher good in suffering. The secret lies in fighting against negative conditioning. Be your cheer leader, be your own champion. Don’t let anyone define for you, what you can and can’t do.

You have the power to manifest goodness and love in your life.

 

Start Again: New Moon & Solar Eclipse In Pisces: 26th Feb 2017

FullSizeRender_1 Ideally, a New Moon – Solar Eclipse transits are perfect for planting new seeds and starting afresh. However, on the 26th February 2017, we have a full moon in Pisces as it joins Neptune, God of the Sea and everything to do with inspiration, dreams, psychic receptivity, illusion, and confusion. Neptune rules spirituality, and all things subtle. Neptune is going to be encouraging us to be reflective, introspective in order to gain insight. Movies, theatre, poetry, music and dance are the showier side of Neptune. When negative, this planet leans towards the netherworld of drugs, alcohol and hypnosis. Neptunian energy reeks of escapism on its darker days, a sea of delusion, where sleep and dreams could get effected.

This New Moon, while we may be embarking on a new emotional cycle, we can be expected to go through many layers of change before we have any clarity. For some, it may be a rude shock to finally see things in the light of the harsh Sun, for some, you may be still putting the facts down, getting clarity on your experiences. Be prepared to feel ultra sensitive and confused. Piscean New Moons are powerful experiences especially when you are discovering your self and removing layers of deep seated negative conditioning that may exist in the unconscious. Look at it as an opportunity to let go of unwanted patterns that are merely holding you back from living your life fully. Rather than focus on self pity or a sense of confusion focus on having compassion towards yourself and others. Listen to your higher self and happiness is possible. 🙂

Let go of pettiness, regrets, on what should have been and could have been and rather than give up and be in denial, make an effort to stick to facts. It may be uncomfortable but it’s healthier to stay connected to reality.IMG_1988

Dream fearlessly this New Moon in order to create a new life full of hope and and opportunities. It’s a perfect time to start afresh, find innovative solutions to old problems, look at your life as it is and embrace it.

 

Venus Retrograde & How It Will Effect You (6th March – 15th April)

“We are born at a given moment in a given place and like vintage years of wine we have the qualities of the year and of the season in which we are born.” – Carl Jung

From MARCH 6 through APRIL 15 2017,  planet Venus will be retrograde. The signs which are most sensitive to a Venus retrograde are Taurus & Libra.  The retrograde motion of an inner planet is an apparent phenomenon as viewed from earth in which Venus appears to retrace its steps, hence giving a sense of moving backwards. Every 1 ½ years, Venus moves approximately 29 degrees ahead of the Sun.

Lessons in relationships, our values, how we value the people in our life will all be under review. With existing relationships, a Venus retrograde you will become acutely aware of how your partner treats you, values you/not and how they demonstrate their love. If you have heard people complain during a Mercury Retrograde that they lost their data or texted the wrong person, during Venus Retrograde watch out for lot of drama in your love life. Try not to purchase something exorbitant, you will sure to suffer from the buyers remorse.

Use the retrograde to evaluate rather than react or act. Yes, there are possibilities, you could become acutely aware of existing problems in your love life or unresolved issues. Venus retrograde is a good time to re-assess and re-examine our relationship values. What are the kind of people we attract in our lives? Are we constantly attracting people who put us down, mock us or are we drawing supportive and nurturing partners. There’s a strong possibility of old lovers to resurface. For some, it may become necessary to heal old wounds and put to rest old issues.

It’s natural to experience challenges in any romantic relationship, but if you have a deep bond and understanding Venus retrograde won’t cause any damage. If things have been intolerable and you have felt taken for granted or constantly misunderstood, these things if unresolved can only cause further damage to a relationship.The good, strong one’s will stand. The retrograde motion can alter our perspective, making us to misunderstand signals/situation. While Venus retrograde doesn’t imply deceit but rather a distorted version of truth regarding maybe a person we thought was the person of our dreams.

Venus is also all about money and how do we attract and value money.

Maybe you need to re-budget, re-plan your money. Maybe you need to look at your finances and update your books. Try not to invest in a luxurious house/dress or go in for a cosmetic makeover during a Venus retrograde. It’s a time to close loose ends financially, repay old debts.

During a Venus retrograde, seek a therapist if you have been suffering from emotional blockages. Revisit old issues and sort them. Revisit your old memories with your partner, how you met, where you went and how it all started. Recreate and rekindle the love flame which could be burning at a low.

More importantly, remember, it’s a phase. It has come to help you resolve old issues, so you can move on to a stronger, deeper relationship.

 

Letting Go Of 2016….

Let go of 2016 with grace, with compassion and acknowledging that you’ve come a long way. Sure, there were better routes, maybe smoother one’s but you chose what you knew  was the best route to your knowledge. If the lessons have been hard and cruel, acknowledge them and know time does not heal all wounds but allows us to cope with them. You are fine, you will be fine. Maybe it still looks dark, maybe you still feel lost and that’s okay. Embrace your uncertainty, embrace your aches and know you did your best. Accept, don’t dramatise, stay easy , stay light.

Let go judging yourself, yet simply ask what you could have done differently. Would it still have gotten you the desired results? You would only know, if you would try another way. Hold yourself accountable and take action on what you’ve learned. Stop keeping lists of how you have been wronged. Taking responsibility means you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open in the world. It’s okay to fall, it’s okay to fail as long as you can pick yourself up and start walking again. If amazing stuff is happening, you played a role. If tough stuff is happening, you played a role.

For me this is not about focusing on something and expecting to magically conjure it into existence but simply focusing on the good. By focusing on what I can do next. Does a certain situation seem futile? Do you constantly feel undermined, criticised, unloved? Do I live in fear or do I live in abundance? Do I choose to ignore or do I choose to deal with it?

End of 2016, look back, ask yourself, what is my focus right now? Am I focusing on something I want or something I don’t want? Am I seeing the opportunities or only the obstacles? What am I looking at? What am I willing to give? Do I want to live in regret or do smile back at life, tighten my gloves and beckon it back for another round?

Let go of what did not work out, what could have/should have, the disappointment of working in a place that ignores your potential, maybe a state of being in and out of jobs or the people you loved and did not love you back. The friends who chose to see you in pain and look through your pain, the disappointments of not being loved enough, of being let down. ACCEPT it all with gentleness – look at these hurts with compassion.

Choose to move beyond the self defeating beliefs that you’ve told yourself over and over again, “I will never be happy, I can never find love, I can never find a job that makes me happy”,” my situation will never change”.  Tell yourself, “I am worthy”.  Focus on the small moments of happiness that you felt, snuggling early in the morning, the kindness given by random strangers, the cab that arrived on time, the gym session you aced, the pure joy on your child’s face when you hugged them or your quite walks holding hands.

The universe has not forgotten you, you are loved, your are cared for…you matter.

 

Jupiter Loving in Libra Sept 10th

IMG_1988There is no right way or wrong way to love. There is also no sure shot way to prove your love. But there are ways that you can show the love. Often, we are stuck in the mode of trying to weigh how much does the relationship mean to the other person. How much is the other person willing to walk the talk for us. Let me try simplify and reverse this here, how would it be if you were willing to get hurt and love as fiercely as your heart would allow – without keeping any defences? What would would it be like leaving all the what if’s and should be’s and just being with what is? This is the kind of love that requires courage – the kind that catches your breath yet exhilarates at the same time. Try pushing beyond your comfort boundaries and do things without expectation – do them because they feel right.

Jupiter moves into Libra for 12 months.  We are all looking for love, balance in our lives. It’s a time to breathe, let go and embrace ourselves and our life condition. This energy in play will help manifest love, luck and cooperation much more abundantly than it is now. Libra also likes commitment. It pushes to work through problems, find ways to compromise and balance things out. It doesn’t say, forget it I’m done. This is the sign that truly sees value and worth in cooperation.

What do I mean by this? I mean, we get to re-create our reality. We form it with our thoughts, our reactions—with what we believe we are able to do and what we think we are able to not. With those who we perceive are better than us and who we decide to feel greater than. This is where your true courage will emerge.

Let go of attachments in relationships, especially the one’s the force you to change. Let go of the “ego” in the relationship. The need to be right, the need to be validated/acknowledged. There are no coincidences as per Buddhism. We choose people who come as catalysts in our lives, shedding light into places we have kept hidden from the world. For most of us change is seldom easy and when it arises, we are either able to adapt to it or we decay with it. When we only have ourselves to reconcile with in life, this is less of a challenge. In a relationship, it is 10 times harder to deal with change as identities have become linked with another. As hard as this is to accommodate, it is working through these changes that develops us. We can either bargain, hold back, and hang onto comfort and security, or we can take a deep breath, and say take me, and leap into the fire.” Translation: The risk is often worth it, especially in love.

Unless you’re lost in fairytales, the path of true love can never be easy, but I do believe it can be exhilarating, progressive and worthwhile. This Jupiter transit, let courage be your dharma.

An Ode To Full Moon 19th July

 

Full Moons tend to make us purge and release things from our lives, so we need to make sure that we are in control of this and no one is forcing our hand! Sometimes we can let go of things that we regret later, due to heightened emotions and the Full Moons perchance for saying ‘F*** You!’ The bright light of the sun throws a spotlight on our subconscious and our shadow. This can feel uncomfortable as the Sun literally blasts out the demons who have nowhere to hide. We had a gentle full moon as we began July and now with the full moon the time has come to cement what we started….for good or for bad. Things seen under the guise of a full moon are hazy…so be careful of what you keep and what you let go.

Use this Full Moon energy to purge things out, and discard redundant patterns, deep rooted fear from the sub-conciseness…and remember to put a lid on it for good.  Stay grounded as the Sun and the Moon are are in opposite zodiac. Cancer and Capricorn….Cancer’s need to cling and be emotional and Capricorns need to deal with the rationale. Maintain the balance of the yin and yang of solar and lunar harmony.

The beginning of the month if there has been an awareness to accomplish things or put your relationships in place, Full Moon gives the opportunity of firming them up.

Trust your intuition and balance your commitment to your family and work. The next two weeks, we will discover what this means for us. For now, let the work begin. The Full Moon is going to shine a powerful light on parts of our lives we have felt hesitant to express. Since Full Moon is all about emotions, be prepared to deal with the dark and murky feelings with all the gentleness and love you can manage. Be careful of what you say or do during this period, for the emotions could be unrefined, and not particularly rational as yet.

 

moon tarot

When the thorn bush turns white, that’s when I’ll come home..

I am going out to see what I can sow

And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back home with me

Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be
Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long” 

(Full Moon: Black Ghosts)

Beyond Fear Lies Freedom

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”― Brene Brown

Despite all the wisdom one reads about detaching, it’s natural to try hard in relationships, attaching yourself deeply emotionally and  have expectations. However, obsessing about the relationship, imagining the loss of it and the potential devastation it could cause is dangerous, not only to yourself, but to the relationship you are in. The bigger the sense of loss, the harder the mind clings – creating imaginary situations…it takes vicarious pleasure tormenting what it knows to be an illusion. And before you know, you are feeding the monster…guiltily in the beginning but soon the prankster mind knows by now that you’re tempted. So the game begins, between the rational, sane, secure you to a taunting, bullying child who keeps getting obnoxious with each acceptance of the illusion.

Imagining situations where your partner is cheating you either emotionally or sexting or even hiding information from you. It could be as simple as him/her catching up with an old friend on their way back from work and not telling you, fearing your reaction. It could be their past lovers who are still there on the phone diary, which could just be numbers for them, but they could seem threatening to you. The thought that anything can get triggered despite the love you share can be debilitating. You cannot be in a relationship 100% if you don’t trust or even feel secure. Looking over one’s shoulder has seldom resulted in healthy relationships.

Removing the intensity from what you are feeling often helps, and the first step is understanding what’s happening…..what’s real and what’s imagined. Stop working so hard at fixing the relationship, is there even something to fix…..look for the honest answer. The simplest thing is to just let go and move with the flow. Understand where the fear is coming from and what could be the possible reasons for it. Speak to your partner about it. Let him in your emotional house. This will not only build trust but it can deepen the relationship as well.

In times when fear grips you:

  • Remind yourself to stay connected to love.
  • Focus on what’s  working: More Abundance less lack
  • Increase your self worth: Remind yourself of all the achievements you had on your own
  • Make genuine peace with the past, else the past will continue to show up in your present. Know the past is….the past.
  • Keep it simple: At times when I am really upset I have a chat with my younger son and the simplistic way in which he views things makes me understand life again
  • Lace Up & Run
  • Calm your fears
  • Look him/her in the eyes and smile

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield

Vulnerability And You

There have been endless discussions and debates on whether one should be vulnerable in a relationship or not. Being in a relationship or in love is itself the most uncertain thing. Being vulnerable with people we love is often like stripping your clothes – it’s stepping out of our inhibitions, our fears and exposing ourselves with a hope that we would be understood. It is the bravest thing that we can do in a relationship. And being the vulnerable one in a relationship can be challenging. Not just because of what it allows or doesn’t allow for, but also because it’s difficult to cope with. Being vulnerable and being the only one vulnerable just adds to your vulnerability. It is something which is often confused with being sensitive.

While, vulnerability is a necessary part of loving an individual and in order to love someone completely, you’ll have to pull down your walls of fear and allow this person in. You need to show him or her the person only you know yourself to be. And maybe risk rejection. For few people can accept us the way we are. We are often encouraged to be our “true selves” in a relationship and when we muster the courage to be so, we are often met with a, “you are not who I thought you to be” making our emotional toes curl in. And so the dance begins.  Now we don’t risk telling the truth as it is,  to our loved one’s for we have experienced our fear of rejection, being misunderstood manifesting.  “No, you tell yourself silently, I’d rather not go there. Anyhow, I can manage not being understood.”

However, if you are the only one vulnerable in the relationship, then there’s a good chance you’re going to make life more difficult for yourself than it necessarily has to be. If you are the only one feeling vulnerable, then you’re most likely going to stress about being hurt. And justifiably so, as love wouldn’t be love without the possibility of heartbreak.

Then comes a time when we realize the emotional fortress we’ve built around us is terribly lonely, isolating us from the one’s we love. And for some unfortunately, it becomes a way of life. The resignation of not being understood in a relationship though can give temporary peace it has potential for disaster.

Being vulnerable does cause us to worry. It causes us to imagine unlikely yet possible events that, were they to come to fruition, would devastate us. The human mind is a powerful thing, but all that power can be difficult to control. Sometimes our thoughts run away from us. We lose control and begin thinking negative thoughts. It’s such thinking that often leads to ruined relationships. Sometimes the only thing between a successful relationship and a failed one is your mental capacity for remaining focused on only the future and reality you wish to be a part of.

There will be times in your life when you feel vulnerable, and there will be nothing you can do about it. In fact, that’s almost always how the real love starts out. It isn’t the love that books, philosophies, religions, cultures, societies have been built upon. To love someone in such a way, you have to be brave in the face of the potential hurt. You have to be vulnerable because you’re choosing to be vulnerable. When you do that, and your partner does the same, it transforms your relationship and the world you see.

In Tarot the Chariot in a relationship reading

chariotis all about emotions, and choosing to be successful by controlling your emotions. The Chariot shows up when there is competition in your relationship and you feel like you have to prove yourself all the time. Chariot can signify feeling vulnerable without being able to show how you really feel. The Chariot in a relationship reading can bring out your fears of not being good enough. Sometimes one is much stronger than the other and is using their power in less than honorable ways to gain control in the relationship. The Chariot speaks of relationships that need time to develop so that you can both find out how to be comfortable in it without the fear of rejections and failure. Once a secure foundation has been established the relationship has a great potential, but only if you can give each other enough individual space.

 

Working Through Intimacy

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry.  If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.  There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” — Dalai Lama XIV

All relationships have a pattern. Well almost. As much as we promise ourselves after each experience “this is the last time I will let this effect me so deeply”, we promptly go back to the same reaction/space the moment the situation gets recreated. Romantic love is beautiful, but no matter how full the moon that first night, no matter how many willows are weeping and birds singing your song, you can’t build years of relationship on that lovely, fragile foundation and spend nights whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.

There are plenty of roads that can lead to disappointment. But the heaviest traffic probably turns up on the one traveled by people in search of love. Consider the plight of Vikram and Sakshi, a couple in their  late 30s who found each other at a mutual friend’s party. Both successful professionals moving steadily forward in their careers—he as a creative director in an advertising agency who also played bass in a leading band, she with a big job in the media, producing documentary films for a television channel.

When their eyes first met, the din of the party seemed to recede and the room light up for the two of them with a glow of promise. After a few months of Friday and Saturday nights together, they moved in with each other. Within a year, marriage felt right to both of them.

But marriage turned out to be a good deal more than they had bargained for. As singles living together, they’d conducted their lives separately. When they dined together, it was usually in restaurants. Now someone had to shop and cook, clear the table and organise the daily chores. Not to mention the mad dash to the gym every night.  It became more and more difficult to find time for making love. They were both too tired anyway.

The extraordinary experience of romantic love conveys the feeling that “the two of us are as one.” But the daily tasks of living together can quickly dissolve couple of notions that they have found such a perfect union. As their different rhythms and preferences emerge in the course of living together, each comes to feel that the other may not be, after all, the ideal partner who brings salvation from loneliness, deprivation, a sense of personal inadequacy, or other anxieties of the solitary self. “You are not who I thought you were,” they tell each other. And from the depths of this disappointment, they often turn to accusing each other of deception, selfishness, or worse.

Disappointment is a stage of love nearly every serious intimate relationship—probably every one that lasts longer than overnight—has to struggle with. It may strike suddenly or build up slowly, but once the battling begins, it can assume tragic proportions for a couple trying to make a life together.

Falling in love leads to such Herculean expectations of happiness that it can feel like the discovery of Eden. But falling out of fairyland with regularity also seems to be our lot.  There’s nothing like your mind playing games that you have yet again failed at love and that if this relationship does not work, will I ever find one that does?

Unfortunately, most of us grow up thinking, “love is easy or effortless” and the thought of working on a relationship itself is perceived as a tedious task. We hesitate in our hearts and minds to “work through it” because relationships that require work are difficult relationships. Thanks to the information we pick up during our growing years through movies or books, where love is all about oneness, sunsets and did I forget to mention easy. Boy meets girl, falls in love and they zoom off somewhere lovely!

Truth be told, the best relationships are constantly effort in motion. Couples who have perfect relationships have mastered the art of managing each others expectations simply because they love each other enough to roll up their sleeves and deal with what they have. They recognise that they are different individuals who have chosen to live together and accept that there will be differences in their outlook. This is where maturity comes to play. To be able to step back and know that the one you love deeply also has flaws.

At all times being empathetic with each other does the magic. Empathy helps turn anger into sorrow. When sorrow becomes mutual, it begins to erase the lines drawn in the sand. Only then does the possibility of apology and forgiveness become real. I consider this sequence—anger, sorrow, apology, forgiveness—one of the most important developmental passages in marriage or in therapy with couples because it is a prerequisite for the restoration of innocence and trust.

I also think at times it’s good to be disappointed early on in a relationship – it gives you time to realign your expectations and your partners. Plus disappointment has a future; depression doesn’t. There is no where to go if you are already at the end of the story. With disappointment, the plot is still taking shape, even though there may be hard work to do learning to tolerate the unknown of the future despite past suffering and to risk rebuilding a social life anyway together.

A flourishing intimacy is likely to demand an extraordinary amount of empathy and patient cultivation from both partners.

The first drafts of love are usually in need of considerable revision. As long as both the partners are willing to work at it.

I guess Blinkie said it right you Don’t give up on love

You and me, me and you
In the summertime
How we touched, how we kissed
Felt so right
Sun is gone, but the moon shines so bright
And I know we will share under the same star tonight
Oh, don't give up on love, don't give up on love, don't give up on love
Dance with me like no one else can see
Hold me like you don't want to be free
Sun is gone, but the moon shines so bright
And I know we will share under the same star tonight

Cause' I just wanna dance with you
Won't you let me dance with you?
Oh, don't give up on love, don't give up on love, don't give up on love