“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~Guy Finley
There’s never really a “right time” to break relationships. You can spend years, yes, years looking for justifications for staying in your toxic relationship or even a negative work place. Managing children, rentals, and being a single parent is not exactly everyone’s cup of tea. The upheaval that comes with relationships collapsing is enough to persuade many a sane person to stay back.
Unfortunately, we focus so much on the negativity of the trauma of breaking up, that we ignore the emotional freedom it can give us. Being able to live on your own without having to justify your existence can be liberating. Imagine, waking up everyday, without the familiar knot of fear or despair hoping the people you live with, will learn to respect you and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Imagine, holding just yourself accountable for what happens in your life and not be a hostage to another’s moods and hyper sensitivities.
Find the courage to remind yourself, that you are capable of working hard and standing up for yourself. Sure, initially it may not be easy and you may even miss the uncomfortable comfort that your toxic or dead marriage/relationship provided and that’s okay. See your fear for what it is – acknowledge it – feel it and tell yourself, you can deal with it.
Allow your inner voice to surface and listen to it, when it says, all is not well. There’s no point in being miserable on a daly basis, convincing yourself that things will get okay or keep walking on egg shells. You can’t make people respect you, either they do or they don’t. And love and respect are two parts of the same coin.
Avoid making excuses for others shortcomings. Don’t lie to yourself. Have the courage to see people as they are. Life is too short to add unneccessary stress in your life. You don’t have to live upto another persons version of you. You deserve to be happy and happiness requires hard work.
I hope you never let complacency of misery tie you down. Misery has a way of comforting way of weighing us down, making us feel, we deserve it. Push it away.
Leaving doesn’t make you weak, staying does. Getting your spirit broken constantly does. Negative people make you weak, anyone or anything that undermines your self worth makes you weak.
Leave. Before you forget what it is to be respected, loved …what it is to be YOU.
Let it take time, let it bring upheaval in your life – just know in your heart it is temporary.
What you will be left with is honesty, self worth and an authentic life.
Do not compromise in relationships. In your work.
I pray you find the courage inside you to leave so you can embrace the happiness you so deserve.