Love has it’s own unique interpretations for us individually. We often feel responsible when the person we love has their share of emotional baggage and some of us feel morally very strongly about sharing the baggage. And this is where the trap lies. While it’s okay to empathize with the person you love, do understand it is theirs to deal with. It is about them and their dialogue with themselves. Try not to feel the helpless victim in their process of getting their stuff together. You will just hamper their progress of unravelling and evolving. Understand it’s their struggle, their predicament and all they need is for you to hold their hand while they figure out stuff.
If you must do something more than holding the persons hand, listen with love and love unconditionally. Unfortunately, the blame game too begins around this time, with one person refusing help and the other person getting angrier or guilty for not making the person feel better. And the circus goes on…one insisting and the other resisting.
I think it’s important during these situations to step back a little from ourselves.
Our ego’s are sneaky little children who will pop up at an inopportune moment and pat our back validating our own sense of guilt to help the one we love. And at times even bring our baggage and compare it with the one who’s suffering. We feel victimised even hurt on our good intentions being brushed aside but seldom do we pause to think that it has very less to do with our past or our baggage.
Often as a punishment of refusing our good intentions, we isolate the person or take away the support we had planned for them. We justify to ourselves on how a lesson should be taught on how our love cannot be taken for granted. Be careful during these times of pushing the person away emotionally for good. It cannot be fun while they are trying to figure their way out and another dilemma gets thrown in not to mention the unfairness of it. Step back. Breathe. Repeat: “This is not about me”
At times, things don’t need to be fixed…just accepted…like our lives, like the people we love. Acceptance in itself is healing and all that is required.
In Tarot he Star card is one of the most beautiful and hope-filled cards in the Tarot deck.
Under an illuminated night sky, a nude woman is outside, kneeling on the grass at a pond. Her foot stretches forward onto the water. Holding a clay pitcher in each hand, the woman is pouring water from one out into the pond in front of her. She is simultaneously pouring water from the other onto the green landscape at her side. The water landing in the pond forms concentric ripples. The water hitting the grass forms streams in every direction. In the sky are eight stars, each with eight points. Central to the composition is a large golden yellow star. It is surrounded by the seven smaller white stars on either side. Under this light, the woman concentrates on the pitcher she is pouring into the pond, while the pitcher she is pouring onto the grass is just as precisely releasing its water.
The unclothed woman represents both purity and vulnerability. The pitchers are symbols of potential and this scene of the woman releasing their contents underscores how The Star card rewards those who are generous at this moment in their life. When we give, we create energy – represented here by the ripples and the streams. The gold star dominating the scene lights up the night in a magical way that the sun never could. In this starlight, vulnerable and pure, giving and genuflecting, the woman will see the world so differently that it will inspire her to create something that is different. This inspiration to create is the manifestation of hope that is the core energy released by The Star card. When we have hope, we have something to live for, somewhere to move towards, someone to love – even if it is ourselves.
She is a reminder that the Universe is always with us, through the good and the bad times – we just need faith