4 Signs – When To Leave, When To Stay

Each relationship reaches a place where we know whether we are ready to deepen the relationship and when we are ready to call it quits.

Here are a couple of signs which you can use

When To Leave

  • You don’t agree on anything – and I mean ANYTHING. While occasionally on an intellectual level this may be stimulating, in an emotional attachment we all desire stability, predictability of emotions – a sense that we will be validated and not combated. If all you are doing is explain and feeling defensive – somethings not right.
  • You Often Catch Yourself Thinking, “What Am I Doing Here” : If you catch yourself often thinking, what am I doing here or I could be better off somewhere else on a regular basis – it’s better to take stock of your situation and take a decision. There’s no point avoiding a future hurt and in order to keep temporary peace.
  • You Keep Secrets: While it’s healthy to not to overwhelm your partner with oversharing, but keeping things consciously away, habitually results in a relationship where authenticity cannot exist. Honesty is critical in relationships. Whether it has to do with your finances or your feelings.
  • You are both contemptuous of the other. Difference of opinion is one thing, but on a regular basis if you both are dismissive, sarcastic or contemptuous of each other – the relationship will not work.

When To Stay

  • There is deep love. It’s not the needy, I want – I need love. It’s a knowledge – you know it in your gut that you truly love the other person. If there is love,  deep love – not the kind that vanishes over fights but something that holds you, anchors you – keep it. It will hold you over many a stormy night.
  • You feel safe. This maybe something we all take for granted or accept in our relationships to feel safe – emotionally and physically. If your partner and you are able to create a safe space where you both can unburden yourself without feeling threatened or unsupported – you have a keeper.
  • You look forward to each other. No matter how many years you have spent together, if you still feel like being with each other, eager to hear what the other has to share and are content in each others presence – stay.
  • Your values are the same. People can change with time, but if you both at the core believe in certain things which could be as simple as, agreeing on raising your children in a particular way, or be in agreement in your commitment towards each other – you will be able to deal with life together as a team.

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